His eyes were red and he had tears pouring down his face. U: Justin whats wrong? And u opened ur arms so u could hug him. He quickly walked over to u and hugged u really tightly. U could hear his quiet sobs in ur ear. U: Justin tell me what happened. Justins voice broke a few times as he spoke because he was still crying. JB: selena. She just broke up with me. U hugged him tighter. U knew how much he loved Selena. How much he cared about her. He couldnt go a day without talking about how amazing she was. And when they were together he wouldnt keep his eyes off her. He was always holding her hand. Or her waist. Or at least being close to her so their bodies could touch in some way. But now he was crying in YOUR arms. U really didnt know what to say to him. U rubbed his back. His smell hit ur nose. He always smelled amazing. U couldnt even discribe the smell. It was just HIS smell. And it was deffo ur favourite smell. U: Justin it will be fine. U said while rubbing his back. U: u can do better then her. She wasnt good enough for u. JB: but i love her so much! U: Justin it will be fine. I know u love her but there are people that love u alot (talking about urself) more then she did. U just have to open ur eyes and notice them. U will fall in love again. JB: how can u say that?! U cant even get over him! And he tried to rape u! And u still love him! I said those words to u! That u need to find someone that will acually love u and not tried to hurt u! So if u cant do it why should i be able to? Surely it should be much easier for u. At least Selena didnt just want me for sex! Thats what ur Mike wanted! At least u were smart enough not to give it to him! Im disipointed! I thought u would understand me! Because u would know how i feel. He wiped the tears from his face stood up and walked out slaming the door. Mikes name was in ur head. It jumped around in ur brain hitting it hard. Why did he say his name? It was already hard enough not to say it myself. He promised me he wont say his name. And wont say what he tried to do to me. Well he did. He broke the promise. U shouted loudly making sure Justin could hear u downstairs: I HATE U! u knew it was a lie. U could never hate Justin. U wanted to run downstairs and hug his saying u sorry. Because he was right. U should have got over Mike. He dumped u because u didnt want to have sex with him. But even after u said no he still tried. He nearly did it. It was the worst day of ur life. U go to bed every night praying that in the morning u wont remember anything. But every night u wake up remembering more. U took the diairy from under the covers and found the date. It was the date the word was going to end. Well it did for u.
U read to urself
May 21 2011
Dear dairy
Today was the end of my world. It didnt seem like it in the morning. But it did in the afternoon. Me and mike were going round his. His parents were not in and he said we could watch a movie then take a walk and bake a cake. He was just being him sweet self. So straight after school he picked me up from my class (he was a year older then me) because his teacher let them out early. So as soon as i was out of the classroom he took my hand and we started walking towards his house which was not far away. So we got in and he told me to pick a movie and he will make some popcorn. So i walked up to the shelf and started reading through the movie titles. I could hear Mike puting the popcorn in the microwave and the walking up behind me and hugging me from behind. He started to kiss my neck and down to my showders. I could hear the popcorn getting louder. Then the microwave beeped and i got free out of his hug to get the popcorn. He followed me and when i was about to open the microwave he pused me against the wall and said: of forget the popcorn. I can give u something better to eat. I tried to get urself free but he just pushed me against the wall harder. He put his both hands on my face and kissed me hard. It wasnt the usal cute kiss. It was a mean kiss. A forced kiss. He forced my mouth to open and stuck his tounge in my mouth. I could taste the alcohol on it. He drunk alot. And he was always voilent when he was drunk. I usaly avoided him when he was drunk. But this time he wasnt that drunk. Maybe he had half of beer. So he was still sober. He kept kissing me and his hands traveled down my body. He stoped on mu boobs and squized and creased them. I tried to get away but again failed. Then his hand (the other one was holding my hands so i couldnt stop him) went lower and down to my shorts. He rubbed me throught my shorts so i closed my legs on his hand. Then i relised it was a mistake. He broke the kiss and said: oh u shouldnt have done that. He picked me up and carried me to his bedroom to the bed. He set me down on the bed roughly and started to undress me while still holding my hands and siting on my legs. He got rid of my shirt first ignoring my screems and begging. Then he got rid of my shorts and i shouted: MIKE U TWAT LET GO OF ME! he stared at me and said: WHAT DID U CALL ME?! and he slaped me acros the face. Slaped me hard. I started to cry. I couldnt do anything. Mike: now im going to let got of ur arms and lags and u going to lay here calmly. If u move an inch u will be punished badly. I knew i had no choice but to do as he says. He let go of me and i layed there still. Scared to move. I closed my eyes praying for death to come and get me. Then mike shoutes: open ur eyes. I want u to remember this moment. I didnt oped them i just layed there. He slaped me again. Harder this time. I opened my eyes to see him on top of me. Then he started to touch me. He touched my whole body. He undid my bra tand touched my boobs so hard they started to hurt. Then his hands went lower and rubbed me throught my underwear hard. I layed there still. My vag went wet though i didnt want it. I wasnt horny. It didnt give my any pleasure. Mike thought it did. So he rubbed even harder. Then he slid his hand under the underwear and rubbed my nude vag. Then without any warning he stuck a finger in me. It hurted badly. He went in and out fast causing me more pain. I cried hard because of the pain. He laughed at my tears. Mike: relax. U ment to enjoy this. I cried more. It felt like it was on fire. Then he stuck his fingers in my mouth. It was a mixture of my juices and blood. He ordered: lick it clean and swollow. I had to do it. I had no other choice.
U stoped reading. U couldnt bear it. The other part was too painfull to go through again. But basicly he made u suck him off and when he was about to rape u him mum came in the house and u left as quickly as u could. The last word he said to u was: we will finish this one day. U havent seen him since then. U put the little book away and u go downstairs to apologise to Justin. U will forget about mike. He has no right to stay in ur heart. He only one that can stay is Justin. And Justin needs u now. U will do anything to make him happy. Well almost anything.
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